All Bluebirds Column #3: Pirates of the Prohibition

‘George’ was an unlikely rebel- late fifties, grandparent, Barrow Soccer stalwart.  He leaned conspiratorially in. “I’ve been going down to my mates to watch the away games…he’s got one of those doggy sticks.” Thus I was, with this disturbing phrase, drawn deep into the cyber netherworld of the illegal stream. No animals were involved in the course of this article.

It’s January, decisions have to be made about money- especially now. One of those decisions might be not to travel to the second away game running. Even for regulars. I began to consider how I would experience an away Saturday, like many others, who wouldn’t be travelling to ‘That London’ to see if the Bluebirds could follow up their excellent result.

I wasn’t the only one; in fact, my decision to watch appears to have alerted the authorities. Dire warnings abounded about dawn raids of a thousand addresses.

No less august a body than the ‘Police Intellectual Property Crime Unit (PIPCU)’ warned me: “Accessing films, TV series and live sports events from unauthorised sources is illegal, can expose consumers to risks such as data theft and malware, and can help fund organised criminal groups.”

Goodness. Further troubled by a misleading local cyber-spasm that it was a thousand Barrovian homes were to be visited, rather than a thousand nationally, it was with no little trepidation I made my way to where one of these sticks were located.

I crept down the darkened alley to the unmarked door. A pre-arranged knock allowed me entry to the speakeasy, past the sharp suited gangster on the door, into a darkened room. Alternatively… I got a taxi to my mates. Your decision, dear reader.

Settling down with a pal or two, we waited for the buffering to subside. ‘Leyton Orient TV’ appeared, the set looking rather like a Belrusian TV studio, with similar levels of even- handedness when it came to commentary and analysis.

However, we were watching the game. And Barrow were playing well. A combination of good shape and pressing were keeping a well drilled but far from superior Leyton Orient out. Defences were very much on top throughout and during this our centre back pairing, plus Man of the Match Paul Farman shone, despite a couple of punches away.

In front of the defence with Harrison Neal to the fore, a disciplined performance and our attacking players, with Gordon eating up the miles up front, saw us more than match Orient. A half chance or decision might have even given us three points. Orient certainly knew they had been in a game and outside the commentary were generous in their praise. I suspect they will go up comfortably- effective, well organised and difficult to break down.

The stream subsided and I opened a bottle of red. More comfortable and cheaper than six hours back but not the same. Four points from two away games. One against the league leaders. Two at home now then Carlisle away.

 I will be on back the bus for that, as that blessed payday calls.  Hopefully the bloated world of global football won’t try too hard to waste police time on tracking down other folk who can’t manage the money right now. It is not as if ordinary fans don’t already pay through the nose for all sorts of football, locally and nationally. Not to mention the cost of powering it.

However we watch our club, these next three games are to ones to savour. Let’s get down to Holker St then up the road to Carlisle to see if we can push into those play off places. And if we can’t attend for whatever reason…it’s hard to blame football fans for setting sail into cyberspace to see our heroes. Hoist the Jolly Roger!